Oh the humanity

Dear Julie,

So anyone reading will be unsurprised by this if they read my last post where I stated I was circling the black hole. Not only did I circle it a while, I eventually just gave up on my slender hold on motivation and went all the way to the bottom of said black hole. I slumped BAD. Like BAD. I have lots of excuses which I will spare you and everyone else cause in the end it doesn't matter if I had the best excuses ever. I do feel really bad that I let you down though. I've been a bad friend. Shame on me. I do love you for sticking with me through this mess my life is in currently though! If you looked up the meaning of BFF- your picture would be in the definition. ;) So, said slump must end. All the weight lost (and there was more than I realized!) has been regained. And now, it must be relost. All the progress with exercise must be regained. It MUST!!! I refuse to give up. I feel like total SHIT when I eat this way and don't exercise. Like surprisingly BAD. Apparently, I am feeling very dramatic tonight judging from the amount of CAPITAL LETTERS I'm using on this post... 

So.... in the spirit of being back at it... I am reposting my reasons. They are good, solid, motivating reasons. I have them typed up super small to stick in my car and my purse to read if I'm out and feeling the urge to grab those fries or whatever the snack of the day is. I'm mailing a list of your reasons, typed both big and small ;) (as well as your hat btw) to you tomorrow. So be looking for it!

My REASONS:

1. So Anna has a healthy mom that she can be proud of and that doesn't get sick or die early.

2. So I don't feel like I have to hide everywhere I go.

3. So my legs don't hurt anymore.

4. So I don't avoid people and activities because I'm fat.

5. So I can wear fun, cute, trendy clothes.

6. So I can ride roller coasters.

7. So I don't feel less than, not good enough, too ugly, too fat.

8. So I am a good example to my patients.

9. So I can keep up with the nursing workload.

10. To prove to myself that I can be in control of myself, and that I can accomplish what I want to accomplish, that I am strong.

Love ya my friend,

Amber

Dear Julie,
Holy cow I suck. I am circling the black hole. I hate it when I get like this. Ugh. I am currently using the last dregs of my strength (you like my overly dramatic visual there?) to force myself to not give in, give up, and just be fat for the rest of my life. I am SO TIRED of the constant ups and downs of this! Holy cow- one minute I'm so motivated and ignoring all bad impulses and seeing some results and the next I take a hit again and then I'm right back to doing everything wrong! ARGHHHHHHHH!!!! I swear to all that is HOLY I am not going to be beat by this. I WILL get back on the wagon- I WILL get healthy, I WILL get this one last major thing I HATE about myself under control. As promised, I am posting my reasons for weight loss (a day late). It's harder than I thought it would be to post these. I don't think we have that many people that read this blog, but these are deeply personal and revealing and its hard to put that out there for the world to judge.

My REASONS:

1. So Anna has a healthy mom that she can be proud of and that doesn't get sick or die early.

2. So I don't feel like I have to hide everywhere I go.

3. So my legs don't hurt anymore.

4. So I don't avoid people and activities because I'm fat.

5. So I can wear fun, cute, trendy clothes.

6. So I can ride roller coasters.

7. So I don't feel less than, not good enough, too ugly, too fat.

8. So I am a good example to my patients.

9. So I can keep up with the nursing workload.

10. To prove to myself that I can be in control of myself, and that I can accomplish what I want to accomplish, that I am strong.

My Body Hates Me

Dear Amber ~

I would like to go on record as saying that I firmly believe my body hates me. Ive been recoving nicely from the surgery but now I have a blasted head cold! I haven't been eating very much because 1) I'm afraid to and 2) I cant taste anything anyway. Ive been doing well with tortilla's and cheese (I know, its not great for me but its just about the only that that settles ok on my stomach) and also managed to eat a marinated portabello mushroom and sauerkraut (I married a German, Sauerkraut comes with the territory). Anyway, I'm getting pretty damn tired of not feeling well :o(  Tomorrow I'm trying a crock pot recipe with pork chops and pineapple. Sounds tasty so lets just hope I can actually taste it.

In other news - in an effort to force myself to comply with our plan and also force myself to get out and exercise I signed up for my first 5k. I wont be running this one but will be walking it and I think its going to be pretty fun. This 5k is "Running with the Bulls" and its sponsored by the Houston Texas (NFL Football team). I get to run onto the football field!!! Woooohoo!!!! :o) Ill make sure there are pictures. That 5k is October 16th so I have about a month to get myself walker ready!

I'm feeling pretty drained right now - I need to get back into a rhythm and get moving again. Ive literally been a lazy bum for 10 days and its making me pretty crazy!

Miss You and PLEASE CALL ME or Text... or ya know... get in your car and drive here to hold me accountable. :o)

Accountability time

Dear Julie,

"Our names are Julie and Amber. We are food-aholics. And we have failed in our quest to keep up our blog as we promised to ourselves and the world."

Now's the time when we both pledge to do BETTER!!!!  We are absolutely NOT getting off track here and falling off the wagon for good. I'm yelling at myself more than you because you've just had surgery. ;) And really I haven't done all that badly with either my exercise or my eating- its just not progressing to that next level that I need to get to. I'm following the rules I've laid out for myself pretty well but in a lazy, "whatever" kind of way instead of a "this is an awesome thing that is going to make my life better in every single way and I can't wait to get going and see fantastic results!!" kind've way. And I miss that excitement. So, you are officially on notice that I will be texting and calling you everyday to check up on you. And I need you to call and kick me in the butt that is not getting smaller as fast as it should be because I'm allowing school and various other excuses to creep in and mess up my motivation. Tomorrow's post from me will contain my list of reasons that you and I have already shared but that I quite obviously need to have in my face again. 

For the record, I ate pretty well last few days and today- taco chicken for lunch and granola for dinner. And I got out and walked my mile this evening. It felt pretty good tonight- the weather was beautiful. I think I'm ready to either add in some running or to add in another half mile to my route. Can't decide which. I'll decide by tomorrow and let you know along with my reasons. Actually, I just decided. I'll add in some running because I really like the running. And I'll add in one small side street to get some additional distance in. 

Here's your motivation for the day~

"Do or do not. There is no try." ~ Jedi Master Yoda

We've chosen to do. It was a good choice. Now let's get that follow through back, get our enthusiasm back, and get the rest of our lives started!!!

Love ya girl- miss your face. Call me tomorrow. Eat good, get out and walk if your poor gut will let you. 

 Amber

New Week - New Motivation

Dear Julie~

I miss you too :( :( Maybe we can figure out a way to meet halfway. Hang on one sec...ok looked at my calender... I see no fall break on here. I guess 4th semester students don't get a break from the GRINDING PRESSURE!!! ..... wow sorry. Not sure where that came from. Anywho.... until October the 9th, I have Thursday and Fridays off from school and no job in sight as of yet... so maybe I could get mom to pick up kiddo some Friday and we can meet somewhere? Let me know whatcha think. Also, long promised graduation date- I'm scared to even put this on paper lest I jinx myself.... is Dec. 15th (odd number!!!! ack- is that a bad sign? no... not a bad sign... calm down... its just an odd number...) at 7pm. 

Ok back to new week- new motivation. I walked this morning in the beautiful fall like temperatures. I think  I walked a little over a mile on these treacherous hills. They really get my heart rate up and pumping. Its kinda fun cause I know all the A and P (we're going over cardiac stuff right now) so I can be a total nerd and figure out exactly what is happening in my arteries and heart, etc. I know. You don't have to say it. 

I was not so good this weekend. Kinda fell off the wagon some. Nothing terrible- I didn't like go out and eat an entire cake or anything. Just didn't really make wise choices. And ugh- I felt yucky and gross. So I have new motivation to do better and better. I have my yummy taco shredded chicken all made up which I can eat with no carbs and only some cheese as the fat for dinner today. I ate some homemade granola for breakfast. And I will have some greek yogurt for lunch. Which is yummy and way full of protein!! Bonus!!! 

I can definitely tell I am losing weight. I haven't been to the doctor to weigh in yet but the clothes are fitting looser and I can tell in my face. Woo hoo! If that's not movitation, I don't know what is! 

Love ya, miss ya, do good today!!!!!! You are officially off the gallbladder excuse so I expect good things this week! Oh and congrats on the post-surgical weight loss. TOTALLY cheating, but whatever. I'm not jealous at all. I swear :)

Recipe(s)

Dear Amber ~

First of all, I miss your face and I think it may be time to plan a weekender. There has to be somewhere we can meet that isn't terribly expensive that we can just have girl time for a weekend. Lets ponder that and see what we can come up with. Don't you get a fall break in there somewhere?

Second, I'm feeling better today and have "unofficially" lost 10lbs post surgery. I wont know for sure until I see the doctor in another 10 days. But according to my scale, Ive lost it. Unfortunately, most of it has been because I haven't been eating much and when I do, quite frankly, its doesn't stay around long if ya know what I mean. I do well eating fruits and veggies and oatmeal was great this morning too courtesy of my mom (who, by the way, decided to leave me this morning and head back your way). The doctor said every person is different and their body reacts differently to the surgery - I'm thinking mine is staging an uprising. Its only been 5 days, so Ill pretend try to be patient.

OK, so enough about G-Money .... I have something so exciting to share with you!!! Now, you may have already seen this on Facebook, but I have found an AMAZEBALLS website! www.skinnycrockpot.com I love this website. I'm trying to stay low carb but also stick to a "clean" food regimine. This website offers crockpot recipes that use low calorie, and often clean food, alternatives to traditional crock pot recipes! I have two crockpots sitting under my cabinet that are begging to be used and this just may be the answer. And for you it would be awesome with your school schedule because dinner can be ready (or close to it) by the time you get home. Dinner is always where I struggle because I'm always SUPER hungry when I get home and I tend to cave into the "Ill just grab something" mentality. The trick for me is to get the grumpy teenager to find something he will eat which could be a blog in and of itself. Good Times.

Anyway, check out the website and also "like" them on facebook which has other recipes too. I'm going to start collecting recipes, trying them, and then Ill add them to this hand dandy blog thingy we have going on here :o)

Let me know if you find a recipe you like and Ill make it first - I'm off all next week so I'll have time to cook and experiment!

No title

Yeah my brain is tired today and I have no title. You can always tell when my imagination is at an all time low when I just go with "no title" as my title.

Anyways! I'm glad to hear you rid yourself of that slacker gallbladder. I'm also impressed both by your grasp of anatomy and your ability to think of cute names for your internal organs!

So, as we discussed a few days ago, I'm adjusting to changes from school that kinda have messed up my whole system. My exercise and eating system - unlike you my digestive system is just fine. (I sincerely hope you successfully move your bowels tonight btw. I'm really good at asking people about their poop now so if you need to share the details with anyone, well you know who to call). And I also have been contemplating a little change to my exercise regime. This is occurring because I'm rather dismayed at how much easier I find it to run on the treadmill then I do on actual pavement. As my ultimate goal is to be able to walk out the door, head down the street and just easily run a few miles as both exercise and stress relief.... I decided to concentrate more on the outside exercise. So, as it gets nicer and nicer outside, I'll be alternating between very small sad little runs and lots of good solid quick walking up and down the crazy hills out here. When I can't go outside, I'll stick with week 3 of the couch to 5k program until I am able to move up my speed a few times then I'll move on in that program. I also still intend to sign up for a 5k in Oct/early November, but I will probably (just being honest and realistic here) be mostly walking that one. BUT!!! I'm ok with that because that's how my whole weight loss and running for pleasure and exercise started last time when I was so successful and lost so much weight. (wish I'd never let myself slip out of that! bygones..) I walked 2 miles with my friend (the one that tried to kill me last week) again today and was able to do that easily so I'm feeling like if I can keep up this plan and continuously do better and better that I might actually accomplish my goals!!! Speaking of accomplishing my goals, it hit home a few days ago (honestly about something else, I just applied to this as well) that I am much stronger than I give myself credit for. I have defeated my own self in the past by thinking I am not strong enough to overcome this. And I know now that I am. People that don't struggle with eating, I don't think realize the extent of the messed-up-ness that goes on in your head with this issue. It sounds so stupid when put into words, but when it comes to eating, the compulsion to eat is so strong that you literally feel like you aren't strong enough to say no to your own head. I know I have a choice, but making that choice has a lot of times seemed impossible to make. I'm learning through present circumstances, that I AM strong enough to choose to be healthy!!! And I'm learning that it's worth it. :) 

love ya girl- get better so we can get back to our everyday emails and get focus back. We have a lot of work to do!

Gangsta' Gallbladder

Dear Amber ~

I'm happy to report "G-Money" is a hold out no longer. The Gangsta Gallbladder was captured during a surprise raid on Tuesday and has not been seen since. All reports indicate he put up a slight struggle but was captured and brought out of the hole. At this time, his neighbors (known as Lizzy the Liver and Patty the Pancreas) have indicated the hood is calm and a "sense of relief" can be felt throughout the area. Everyone should rest better knowing he can cause no more pain.

In case you are wondering, yes, I have taken my hydrocodone and yes, it may indeed be influencing this blog. Overall I'm feeling better than I have in a long time but I'm pretty damn sore in my belly. I haven't been able to stand up straight yet - muscles are pretty tight. Ill be taking the dressing off the incisions this afternoon and can FINALLY take a shower. That sponge bath shit is retarded. I've been living on a diet of chicken broth, grapes, and crackers. Oh, and my mom made some red potatoes for me yesterday which were amazeballs. I'm a little concerned that I haven't been drinking enough water... and I haven't pooped which is a bit of a concern as well. Ive read that 48 hours post op isn't unusual for no BM but I just don't want to get crazy with it. If nothing by this afternoon Ill break out the laxatives (and you know my history with those bad boys!).

Other than that I have managed to pay most bills (today is payday!woot woot!), avoid some other bills (cause I'm feelin' gangsta!), and sit my rather large butt in the bed and/or chair but mainly the bed. Apparently my bed laying annoys my son... he started griping yesterday "I wish I could get four holes in my stomach so I could sleep all freaking day." Umm, yeah, you would sleep all day except to graze for food and pee if I'd let you! I think there should be another planet for teenage boys - ya know, kinda ship em off until they are human again.

OK, that's all I have for now. Doctor said two weeks no exercise - I told her I had been practicing for the last month. :o)

Miss you!!

Mind Over Munchies

Dear Amber,

It is such a relief to know that you haven't fallen off the face of the planet! This world would not be the same without you. :o)

I'm so proud of you for fighting the late night munchies - I recently subscribed to "SHAPE" magazine and LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it! I snagged a $3 year's subscription through another magazine and have been in love ever since! Anyway, I was reading it last night and there was a great article titled "Mind over munchies." I couldn't find the exact article online but I found one similar to share Mind Over Munchies. Also, in this handy dandy magazine, I found an advertisement for "Silk Pure Coconut Milk." It has less fat that regular milk and it not supposed to upset the tummy for those with dairy allergies, etc. I'm going to Whole Foods to pick some up this week and Ill let you know how it is.

My surgery is Tuesday (and I'm getting kinda nervous) and Ill be down for at least a week. I may try to get in a walk or two the following week. I don't want to attempt to do any core exercises until I'm given the all clear, but walking is a necessary evil and I think I would shake off some of my stress this way. And speaking of exercise... I'm probably going to have to change gyms. The YMCA is a wee bit expensive and not close to home. There are a couple of other gyms (Bally's and LA Fitness) closer to home and they are a bit cheaper too. I might look into those and see if I like them. I really only use the treadmill and elliptical so for the savings it may be same-same.

I'm starting to feel some inspiration/motivation creeping back in - I lost it there for a while! School is back in session and work is busier than ever so going to the gym again will be a great stress reliever.

Anyway, read the article if you find some time - I found it interesting and helpful :o)

Miss you!

I'm here

Dear Julie,

I swear I haven't fallen off the earth. I'll say two words about where I've been- NURSING SCHOOL. Yeah, kinda got ran over by that train.

Here's a quick recap of what I failed (that's right- I award myself an F for failure to keep up my emails and encouragement to you- bad me) to blog about this week. I made some fantastic progress this week on late night snacking!! Holy cow-I'm afraid to say this out loud but I think I just might, possibly, maybe have in a small way, gotten past that problem! Well, not past as in will never do it again, but past as in, I'm not snacking most nights. ;) I am eating a LOT of Sonic ice. Helps with the munchies. As far as the rest of the meals, I did pretty well. Not super great, not super bad. I'm doing that thing that doctors and fitness people everywhere tell you absolutely not to do- I'm skipping meals. I know! Ah! Here's what I say to them all- screw it - it works! I actually did eat pretty well when I did eat. As for exercise, well that's where the school interfered for me this week. I got some in- no worries there. Also, pretty sure I'm totally counting the clinical hours of running off my feet the whole time as my exercise for those two days. I think I got in 3 times of actual "exercise" this week. But! One of those times included a 3 mile walk with a friend in the blazing heat I might add. Which was encouraging because I didn't pass out and die on the side of road and I only begged her one time to go get the car and come back and get me. :) What? She knew I wasn't serious... really, I wasn't. Now, when I pulled up to a drive through after and gasped out "water, for the love of God, water" I WAS serious. Very serious.

So, enjoy your third to last week of me leaving you alone about exercise and eating because that gallbladder is coming out and then you'll be hearing my annoying voice yelling at you all the way from Missouri!

Oh btw- Adam totally told me I looked like I'd lost weight today- woo hoo! It's working!!!

Chubby Girl Salvation

Dear Amber ~

I'm so happy this is your last semester! I know the mixed emotions going on... on one hand you are excited because its the last one; but on the other, there is a growing sense of anxiety to get through it but not too fast just in case you aren't really ready yet. I am so proud of you and all that you have accomplished. I have never doubted you and can't wait to see what the future holds for you.

Today was a pretty good day for me. I'm feeling a little ~blah~ (and that's putting it nicely). I am having the hardest time finding my mojo again. I was doing so good there for a while and it has suddenly collapsed around me. Super frustrating - and whats more frustrating is how I know  this is problem and yet instead of going to the gym I simply *blog* about going not going. Seriously - I'm in a flat spin and cant seem to get out. So, that being said, here is my inspirational post. This always seems to get me moving again - I LOVE this video. It is chubby girl salvation...

Exhausted- and it's only the beginning

Dear Julie,

I'm tired. It's only the first day of class. The only thing getting me through tonight is knowing that I'm less than 5 mos from being able to go to work as an RN!!!

I ate well today- really light lunch that I packed and took to school. I heart those little cheese wedges with a few special K crackers. I also tried Greek yogurt for the first time- yummy! I'll be getting those from now on in addition to my lemon ones. Dinner was chicken enchiladas again. Also yummy. I only eat one so its not so many calories. Second day on fitday! Go me!

Didn't work out today as I was so tired that I took a nap instead :) which is NOT good weight loss strategy. Hopefully as the semester progresses, I'll get out on my lunch break and walk around the building. I really want to add in that outdoor walking that progresses to running as I had such success with it last time I actually lost any amount of weight.

Here's my inspiration for tonight as I need to hear it myself.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." ~Jeremiah 29:11

Dear Amber,

Fitday is an awesome idea! I forgot completely about it until you mentioned it - so, I logged in and realized I haven't logged i since January of this year! That's both good news and bad news... the good news is I weigh the exact same today as I did on 1/17/2011. The bad news is... I WEIGH EXACTLY THE SAME AS I DID ON 1/17/2011!  I would probably be really pissed off except for the fact that I haven't been doing nearly what I should to make this work. I think I have trolls that go to the store with me and throw shit in my cart. For instance, take my son with me to the store and I swear, he asked for something on every single aisle. I did really good at telling him no, but I also understand that he gets home from school and is starving so I do buy convenience foods for him to eat like pizza rolls, mac-n-cheese, etc. Anyway, so I get home and unpack the groceries and find "OREO Blizzard Cookies," and Mt. Dew (which is safe because it tastes disgusting) among the everything else. I'm going to have to not take him to the store with me anymore.

Anyway, I cleaned like a mad woman today and forced all the minions in my kingdom to comply with my demands. It was awesome. :o) I feel good today and got a lot accomplished. I'm ready to rock-n-roll this week and plan on the gym at least 3 times then Ill be down for at least a week and then back again.

Fitday

Dear Julie,
I started using fitday.com today. It worked really well for me last time. I put in a goal weight loss of just over one hundred pounds. I put a goal date of January 2013. I feel motivated to step up the diet process. So far today I've eaten a carnation instant breakfast and a teriyaki chicken breast (yum!) for lunch. I had a few tablespoons of coconut out as a snack but my dumb cat was wolfing it down when I came back into the room! Stupid cat...
I also got out this morning and jogged/walked outside for about 30 mins. I'd like to start putting jogging and walking outside in the exercise rotation because it is so much more difficult than a treadmill. At least it is to me. Of course, where we live currently is almost all hills... which should provide some excellent training! And now that it is only 99 degrees outside instead of 1,000 perhaps it will be more pleasant to do it out there. 
Nothing much else is going on today. I'm feeling blah and a little downhearted. Blech. I hope your day is better than mine and that you make good choices today!!! 

Here's your motivation for today- works for me ....sometimes...   :) 

"Nothing tastes as good as thin feels."

Berries are for the Birds

Dear Amber,

First, I'm still having a hard time forgiving you for ignoring "G-money." My organs have feelings too ya know. Second, if I cant eat tacos from an "eew-that's-gross-you-might-get-worms-in-your-brain-taco-truck" then I veto raspberries; unless, of course, they are frozen with some tequila (can I get an amen?!). I've done better today because quite frankly I cant really eat much without agonizing pain and discomfort. So, I guess that's progress :o)

I think I have found a walking buddy which will be nice. I enjoy the gym, but the fresh air is nice when its not 5 million degrees outside - so maybe by December it should cool off!

Other than that Ive had an uneventful day. I didn't go to work and tried to just rest - the belly ache has worn me out. I felt more human today than I have in a couple of weeks. Josh had his "Into the Woods" performance tonight which was AMAZEBALLS! I just love that kid to pieces... too bad he thinks I'm entirely uncool and know nothing about being a teenager. Unfortunately for him I know way TOO much about being a teenager and all the fun troubles they can find which is why I'm in his face all the time. And to think I want more kids...

School starts Monday (yay - sorta) and I'm back on the gym routine for a week then off for two and then on again! If I don't start now Ill never start - its too easy to say "eh, maybe tomorrow." Going to the gym is a mental game for me that I lose most of the time.  I think you may need to start riding my ass again about that. Seemed to work well last time.

Go eat your nasty berries... Ill drink the tequila for you over here! :o)

Berries make a sad substitute for ice cream

Dear Julie,

I thought you might like to know that I am currently eating frozen berries for a nighttime snack. I am doing this in an effort to bust that late night snack that is freaking killing me on the weight loss front. KILLING ME!!! Right now, what I'd like to eat is ice cream washed down with some candy. Instead, I am taking a positive step and having berries which I might add, include raspberries which are very sour and make my face go all scrunched up.

Not much else to report today- retook my math test which I'm still mad about. Turns out about 4 of the top students in the class (including yours truly) had to retake this particular test. What's up with that? Well, anyways, it made me feel better to be in their company. I still felt like I should have turned in some sort of explanation letter for my failure to only miss one on the first try. Turns out I hate failing. Never knew that did ya? :)

I have so much to do the next two days for school. I guess it also turns out that I am fantastic at procrastinating....

Blog asap- I need to hear from you!!!

Amber

Having a blog with you is fun

Dear Julie,

First of all, I refuse to refer to your gallbladder as "g-money". I'm pretty sure they would refuse me my diploma if my instructors heard me say that. :) Second of all, you are getting a mighty HUGE pass til your (say it with me) gallbladder is taken out and you are able to eat and exercise correctly. Thirdly, I'm still confused about whether you or not you were actually out whoring yesterday. Now I know that particular activity might in fact burn some calories but I'm pretty sure we discussed the fact that the weight loss must occur in a HEALTHY way. Fourthly (is that a word?), I'm ignoring the taco truck part because it makes me want to vomit. And last of all, does your husband know you're looking up videos of Marines on youtube? :)

My day went well-I ate half a chipotle turkey wrap for lunch and it was one of those really healthy ones with disgusting things like tomatoes in it. :) It was actually quite tasty so congrats to me both for trying something new (as you know, I don't like "new") and also for stopping after half instead of inhaling all of it then the bag of chips as well. I also choose regular tea over sweet tea TWICE (I know, right?) and one of those times it was McAllisters tea so you know that was hard! AND that time I was with my husband ex-husband well whatever he is, so you know the stress was on big time and I really wanted that sweet tea! Dinner was a half serving of yummy chicken  enchiladas so I'm calling this day a success. Oh, I did work out as well but walked this one due to that weird thing in my rear that almost makes my leg collapse out from under me. Gotta love that.

Seriously, girl, I love ya but you better get back on track with me or I will walk myself all the way down there (that would be my exercise for like a month) and kick your butt into gear myself!! No more taco trucks!!! Taco trucks = BAD!!!

Laughter is the Best Medicine

Im bored and wanted to laugh... so I spent time on YouTube and www.damnyouautocorrect.com Ill post more later. And for the record, the videos are exercise related :o)



This is what I wish I could look at during my work out... I would enjoy it so much better and porbably go more often! Ha!

And this is just funny because farting at innapropriate time (when done by someone else of course) is hilarious.

The following is from www.damnyouautocorrect.com If you ever need a true belly laugh this is the place to go. Seriously, I laugh so hard I cry. I have had some EPIC FAILURES with autocorrect...



Flawed Logic and Other Fun Stuff

Dear Amber,

Its been an odd day - I'm actually feeling a little better today. The pain hasnt been as bad as it has been the last couple of days which Im greatful for. Here's the problem: I'm finding it hard to eat well because I want my gallbladder (to be referred to as "g-money" from now on) to have the best last 13 days if its young life. Yes, I agree this is flawed logic. I have been on the go most of the day and Ive been sweating like a cheap whore so I figure I have burned calories today just from work. Did that last sentence make sense or did I totally just make it sound like I work as a hooker? Ponder that and let me know. Anyway, I ate a potato and egg taquito from a taco truck for breakfast, lots of water today, and then I ate Panda Express for dinner (it was kind gross though). Oh crap - I also ate my mom's peach cobbler. Dude, it was so good I just wish I could swim in it.

I have been working so much the lat two weeks. I have almost 40 cases on my workload and it just grows by the day. Some of these cases are so intense and the people are flaky so it takes FOREVER to make progress. I didnt get home until 9:00 tonight and Ill be back at it bright and early tomorrow. The good news is Im taking two weeks off to get rid of g-money. Knowing me, Ill probably still be working the whole two weeks (Im a workaholic and a food-a-holic). That will probably be the last time off I take for the rest of the year. I may squeeze in some time around the holidays and of course for your graduation but other than that it'll be work work work! Surely you didnt expect anything else right? :o)

Im proud of you for being so good today!!! Ill be back to the gym this weekend and then right up until my surgery. Doc said there is no reason to not exercise unless it hurts, which it hasnt before so Im hoping maybe it wont now.

Keep up the good work and Ill be catching up in no time!

Not knocked up

Dear Julie,
I'm so sorry I bailed on you yesterday on both the blog and any sort of attempt at eating and exercising correctly. That darn semi truck that keeps running me over and tearing my life apart at the seams made yet another appearance yesterday and knocked me down all over again. But like I told you yesterday, better knocked down then knocked up! I got that wonderful bit of bad news (the semi truck news - I'm NOT knocked up I SWEAR!) right in the middle of my skills fair - you know- the one where I have to successfully perform randomly chosen skills in front of instructors that intimidate the hell out of me so I can continue into this semester? Yeah, well I did fine on the first one, then got the text, and then had to turn around and do my second skill (putting down a nasogastric tube just in case you're curious) with tears streaming down my face. So much darkness. My instructor was awesome however, even said a prayer with me afterwards. At least we know that I can perform skills under pressure...and copious amounts of snot... Did not fare so well in my math test. For the first time EVER, I have to repeat a test. You know who this is getting blamed on, yes? After my wonderful news, I apparently forgot the importance of rounding only to the tenth place on certain problems and also the importance of leaving off a "trailing zero". I am NOT pleased about this. 
Just to make my day more fun, I also went to the doctor. I did get a baseline weight so I can start weighing in. No I still will not divulge it on here. If you're really curious, after I start losing weight and announce my new weight alongside my total lost, you're welcome to do the math and figure it out. :) Or cause you and I really have no secrets, you can call me and I'll tell you what it is as long as you promise not to tell anyone else!! She also told me that I have the ear canals of a 70lb person (which quite obviously, I am not) and that is why they keep getting clogged all the time. Which is such a stupid problem to have. I mean, really? She said I should just plan on having them preventively (is that a word?) cleaned out about 3 times a year so that I don't have to deal with them getting so clogged with disgusting wax that I can't hear out of one of them. Ridiculous. Then she yelled at me for stopping my synthroid, gave me a couple new scrips and sent me on my way. 
On to the good news, I have done my couch to 5k run for the day. 30 mins on week 3. And I ate green grapes and peanuts for lunch. I really really wanted to continue to feel sorry for myself and get something bad for me while I was out earlier. But then I made myself stop and think about how I would feel AFTER I ate it. And what I could do instead that would make me feel good and proud of myself. And that was enough (at least today) to make me go home and do it right. You may hold your applause until later in the week ;)
So... you will shortly be getting a text informing you that this is ready for you to read (we need to figure out if they have some sort of alert system) and telling you that I expect to hear that you're heading to the gym after work!!!
Love ya, miss ya, proud of ya!
Amber
 

Grump-A-Saurus

Dear Amber,

Remember that time when we talked about how no matter what we would never rat each other out if we had to bury bodies? Now may be one of those times... I love my husband dearly (most days) but dude - the man is about two sentences away from becoming dog meat. Allow me to share for a moment the joy that comes to waking up next to my husband. I was laying in bed this morning and was not feeling well. My stomach was hurting and I just wanted to stay in bed. He rolls over to "remind me" that my alarm went off which was kinda-sorta a nice thing to do - but then he reaches around to cuddle and says "what is this?" And I'm like "what is what?" He says "Is that a THIRD BOOB?" What... the... hell ... dude. Apparently the tube top swim cover-up I was sleeping in (don't judge, its comfy) kinda slipped down cutting one boob in half and thus resulting in a "third boob." I promptly told him to stop being stupid and go away. Do you think he did? No - he decides to grab his cell phone and start playing his "chewbaca" ring tone. I was so mad I think I actually made up new cuss words. Ugh - and to think that was just the beginning of my day.

After all the fun this morning I went to the doctor to follow up about my gallbladder. Apparently, the gallbladder is angry and needs to come out. I meet with the surgeon tomorrow - I hope he's hot :o) The best part of the day was when I stopped by McDonald's to bid farewell to my gallbladder. I figured I would send it out with a bang!! Oh, and thank you for making me feel better about eating poorly by telling me on the phone Ill probably "feel like crapping myself" later after eating McDonald's. That was a bright spot in my day. I worked all day, ate like crap, then felt like crap, worked some more, and then my mom made hamburgers (George Foreman all the way baby!) for dinner.  They were uber tasty. I'm going to try and do better tomorrow - I'm in a lot of pain which I know is partially because I'm torturing my gallbladder with shitty food. On a complete side note - I hate the word "gallbladder." I think I'm going to name it something other that gallbladder. Maybe something like "G-Money" ... Ill get back to you on that one. Let me know if you have any ideas.

Ok, that's all for now - Ive taken some Ibuprofen PM which should kick in any moment *crickets*

MISS YOU!! Oh, and here's a little something - I don't know if it falls into motivation category but its fitting for the day I've had.

Carrots

Dear Julie,

Today I walked all over our zoo chasing 4 kids for about 3 hours :) as my exercise. Now, I did check and that particular form of exercise is nowhere to be found on any of the weeks of the couch to 5K program, but I'm counting it!!!! I also dutifully packed my bag of baby carrots for my lunch and I actually ate them this time. Go me! And I didn't even finish Anna's peanut butter and honey sandwich which I have been known to do in the past. And not just because she ate it all either... For dinner I ate a grilled chicken and cobb salad from the Outback. And damn it all, I ate a handful of cheese fries. Which aren't even that good. Why did I do that? Oh well, its a fair sight better than the plateful of cheese fries and 3 helpings of bread with honey butter that I normally eat there. Right? Tell me I'm right. I'll do better tomorrow- I swear.

Right now, I'm watching Anna play (which is hysterical btw when she doesn't realize you're watching her) and going through all my skills for tomorrow's test. Last one (always assuming I pass this semester!)

Ok, did you get your exercise in? How'd you eat today? Here's your inspiration- I really want to figure out how to get this song on the blog if we can and if you like it well enough. Stolen from The Biggest Loser:

 Proud
by Heather Small

I look into the window of my mind 

Reflections of the fears I know I've left behind
I step out of the ordinary
I can feel my soul ascending
I am on my way
Can't stop me now
And you can do the same
What have you done today to make you feel proud?
It's never too late to try
What have you done today to make you feel proud?
You could be so many people
If you make that break for freedom
What have you done today to make you feel proud?
Still so many answers I don't know
Realise that to question is how we grow
So I step out of the ordinary
I can feel my soul ascending
I am on my way
Can't stop me now
And you can do the same
What have you done today to make you feel proud?
It's never too late to try
What have you done today to make you feel proud?
You could be so many people
If you make that break for freedom
What have you done today to make you feel proud?
We need a change
Do it today
I can feel my spirit rising
We need a change
So do it today
'Cause I can see a clear horizon
What have you done today to make you feel proud?
So what have you done today to make you feel proud?
'Cause you could be so many people
If you make that break for freedom
So what have you done today to make you feel proud?
What have you done today to make you feel proud?
What have you done today
You could be so many people
Just make that break for freedom
So what have you done today to make you feel proud?

 

About Broken Cookies

Today is first day we begin to share our journey with all of you. Like many people, we have inner struggles that we deal with on a daily basis. For us, this inner struggle is also an outer struggle and we battle emotional eating, nonexistant unhealthy exercise habits, and busy schedules that don't always mesh well with a healthy lifestyle.  This blog is our way to be held accountable to ourselves, to each other, and to those we care about as we continue to make changes.

How it all began...
We have been friends for 18 years (yes, we are old and damn do we feel it!) and have a long history together. Without getting into the boring details, we went from high school friends to sisters-in-law and consider ourselves sisters for life no matter what. Part of being sisters is being there when one of us (or both of us) struggle. We have come to a point in both of our lives that we rely on each other to lose weight and get healthy. This is a change that affects our personal, family, and professional lives on some level and we have taken the steps to make it happen. Both us have been emailing, texting, call, messages by pigeon, etc to encourage, motivate, cry, or use tough love to get the other moving and into the gym or eating better.  These emails are the inspiration for this blog.

What To Expect...
We have committed to each other to make a post daily continuing the email tradition but using the Blogger platform. There will also be some other posts of things we find interesting, funny, or some times "just because." Hopefully this will give you some insight into our lives or maybe be an encouragement to someone. We are not trying to be famous bloggers but want to find a way to be accountable to a larger audience, like our family and friends, and hopefully inspire and encourage other who may share our struggle. We realize this is a lengthy process and recognize that blogging every day wont shed the pounds away. However, some times its nice to have an outlet that makes the daily grind a little more palatable while working towards a happy ending.