Saturday, October 15, 2011

Oh the humanity

Dear Julie,
So anyone reading will be unsurprised by this if they read my last post where I stated I was circling the black hole. Not only did I circle it a while, I eventually just gave up on my slender hold on motivation and went all the way to the bottom of said black hole. I slumped BAD. Like BAD. I have lots of excuses which I will spare you and everyone else cause in the end it doesn't matter if I had the best excuses ever. I do feel really bad that I let you down though. I've been a bad friend. Shame on me. I do love you for sticking with me through this mess my life is in currently though! If you looked up the meaning of BFF- your picture would be in the definition. ;) So, said slump must end. All the weight lost (and there was more than I realized!) has been regained. And now, it must be relost. All the progress with exercise must be regained. It MUST!!! I refuse to give up. I feel like total SHIT when I eat this way and don't exercise. Like surprisingly BAD. Apparently, I am feeling very dramatic tonight judging from the amount of CAPITAL LETTERS I'm using on this post... 

So.... in the spirit of being back at it... I am reposting my reasons. They are good, solid, motivating reasons. I have them typed up super small to stick in my car and my purse to read if I'm out and feeling the urge to grab those fries or whatever the snack of the day is. I'm mailing a list of your reasons, typed both big and small ;) (as well as your hat btw) to you tomorrow. So be looking for it!

1. So Anna has a healthy mom that she can be proud of and that doesn't get sick or die early.
2. So I don't feel like I have to hide everywhere I go.
3. So my legs don't hurt anymore.
4. So I don't avoid people and activities because I'm fat.
5. So I can wear fun, cute, trendy clothes.
6. So I can ride roller coasters.
7. So I don't feel less than, not good enough, too ugly, too fat.
8. So I am a good example to my patients.
9. So I can keep up with the nursing workload.
10. To prove to myself that I can be in control of myself, and that I can accomplish what I want to accomplish, that I am strong.

Love ya my friend,